How many of you are divorced?

[yapann]

How many of you /your buddies are divorced?

Lots of my Polish friends are, the others - gonna be!
I can find no more like 3 succesful couples/married around me
why so wrong - answers?

[slowfocusguy]

Never been married. Come to think of it, I never been in a serious relationship. It never been a priority of mine.

But the divorce rate is ridicules! My hypothesis is that Americans want everything big, yesterday. It's like 'Hey! I have a crush on you! Lets get merry!' and I guess that they forget (or never known) that marriage is something a lot more then vows. IMO it's about sacrifice, honor, loyalty, and so on.

Yes people do fall out of 'teehee I luv you so much' love, but I never believe that is love to begin with. Besides, at that point, a couple should have something much more then joyful butterflies in the stomach. If they dont have that, they shouldnt even bother getting married in the first place.

All in all, I think people are just being greedy. They want everything big, yesterday, and they dont want to invest into something that could be the best investment in their life and beyond. Because ultimately the children will become of age and they will mimic their parents action.

[BlueFang08]

I have a friend who is getting married soon. He'll soon be divorced if that counts....

[twistedimage]

married for 7 years here. and happy about it. had are ups and downs but we pulled thru.

the problem is not anough good old fashion values. I am a church going person and so is my wife and kids. we do not belive in divorce. so when we had a hard time we went to the church we belong to and talked to our pastor.

[jackmode9316]

I have never been married, but I think it might be a combination of A.People Jumping into things too fast. and B.Lack of communication.
Being able to overcome conflict, and having to ability to reason with your mate is a MUST in a lasting relationship. You cannot expect the other person to change, you have to love them for who they are, problems and all. Ohh yeah and a little tiny thing called TRUST plays a factor as well.

[5thgenownr]

I am taking the plunge in 3 months exactly to today. I am very nervous now. We have been dating for 4 years, but dating and marrige are two different worlds. I dont believe in divorce either.

[cybergreencivic]

Ive been married 2 years, and 3 months. Been through some hard times, and still struggling with some of the things, but no matter what, i do not belive that divorce is the answer, and it is also against my beliefs. Some days when things are shit, i really want to do it, but i know that i took a vow that it is through the good times and bad, and i just have to keep working on getting along with her when things are going rough.

[twistedimage]

Ive been married 2 years, and 3 months. Been through some hard times, and still struggling with some of the things, but no matter what, i do not belive that divorce is the answer, and it is also against my beliefs. Some days when things are shit, i really want to do it, but i know that i took a vow that it is through the good times and bad, and i just have to keep working on getting along with her when things are going rough.



more men need to rilize this.


I heard a comic once that said


happy wife happy life.

I live by these words

[pontiacrapper]

its been 1 year 8 months but we were friends for 8 years b4 and lived together for 3 b4 we got married. so when we did we knew each others flaws and we fight a lot but 2 seconds after we are done fighting it is ok again.

I am taking the plunge in 3 months exactly to today. I am very nervous now. We have been dating for 4 years, but dating and marrige are two different worlds. I dont believe in divorce either.

i cant wait ;OwnEd;

[Dave_L]

I think alot of people have lost the true meaning of marraige in today's society. A lot of people think that if they get married, they'll instantly have 2.5 kids, a house with a white picket fence and life will be good. It's a lot of work to make a marraige work and that's why you have to be truely in love with that person, not just infatuated. But then again, it shows you how our society is turning. No one wants to work hard for something anymore. They'd rather settle for less than put in the extra effort. It's really sad actually.

I work with some high schoolers at my second job and it's amazing how little they do. They call in at least once every 2 weeks and when they're at work, they try as hard as they can to avoid work. It really bothers me that these people will be our future.

[Loud_Scott]

I work with some high schoolers at my second job and it's amazing how little they do. They call in at least once every 2 weeks and when they're at work, they try as hard as they can to avoid work. It really bothers me that these people will be our future.

I work with upper 20/mid 30 year olds who act like this; it's not new.

Back on topic: -- I'm divorced. And yadda yadda yadda go ahead talk about how i lack values, i lack vision and i'm lazy. In reality my ex wife and I had been on again/off again for 7 years and after 1.5 years of marriage on top of that we both just wanted to move on....cut the cord, so to speak.

I believe the real issue is how EASY it is to get married. We had a qausi-big ceremony and the whole 'marriage' part (preacher/guy to marry you, and marriage license) was less than $500.

We had to sign 1 (one) piece of paper; and BOOM married.

However, a year and a half later we had to fill out a 100 page booklet about everything in our lives to get a divorce. If that much fuckin paperwork was required to get married, I woulda saved myself roughly 6g's.

I don't have a problem with divorce; I don't have strong "feelings" or "beliefs" in it like others in the thread; I do know first hand what it does to a chillin's because my mother is on marriage #4 and my pa on #5. However, if kids aren't involved (they werent for me) and if the situtation is right, go for it. I think if kids are involved then you gotta try to make it work no matter what. growing up with 2 sets of parents sucks....

[jackmode9316]

growing up with 2 sets of parents sucks....
You got that right.

[Brandon]

I don't have a problem with divorce; I don't have strong "feelings" or "beliefs" in it like others in the thread; I do know first hand what it does to a chillin's because my mother is on marriage #4 and my pa on #5. However, if kids aren't involved (they werent for me) and if the situtation is right, go for it. I think if kids are involved then you gotta try to make it work no matter what. growing up with 2 sets of parents sucks....

:werd:

lol to #4 and #5, damn. My mom is on #3 and dad is single after 2.

[Dave_L]

Just a bunch of quitters, IMO.

[vince]

i have 2 sets of parents and it worked out great. I cant really see my parents being together in the first place. It does get a lil hard around holidays cause you cant be in two places at the same time. When i was little it was great cause i got twice the gifts.

[Loud_Scott]

Just a bunch of quitters, IMO.

says a guy who's giving up alcohol and other things at least 4 or 5 times in the last year or 2....

[Dave_L]

That's not even the same level. The easy route would be to continue drinking and not care. That's quitting, IMO.

[BlueFang08]

Yeah but their are somethings that are just inexcusable. I mean if she cheats on you are you gonna work it out.... how about if its your best friend.... (happened to another friend of mine).

Or on the flip side if its an abusive marriage... thats not good either... "hit me again ike and this time put some stank on it"

[Loud_Scott]

That's not even the same level. The easy route would be to continue drinking and not care. That's quitting, IMO.

negative... it's much harder and takes much more committment to continue to get up and drink yourself into a stupor day after day after day - and tell the world to fuck itself. :drink:

[jackmode9316]

negative... it's much harder and takes much more committment to continue to get up and drink yourself into a stupor day after day after day - and tell the world to fuck itself. :drink:
No not really.

[Dave_L]

Or on the flip side if its an abusive marriage... thats not good either... "hit me again ike and this time put some stank on it"

The bitch should have listened better anyways. It's really her fault at that point.

[doogie06]

Been married for a year and some change now. I do agree that people do rush into marriage for some wrong reasons, my wife and I dated for 4 years before we got married, we lived togethor for 2 of those years. It should be a process you put yourself through before you say 'I do', that's for sure.
My tips for having a keeper, 1)Fantastic Sex. 2)She better be able to cook, because after the sex is gone...food is all you got. 3)If she has a problem with phonebookings, she isn't the one.

[john]

The divorce rate is so high because people don't understand true commitment anymore. In this microwave / throwaway society, the quick fix is always the best it seems.

Honestly, if you keep working on the relationship, it works out - unless there's an abusive aspect. I've been with the same woman for longer than most of you guys have been alive. And she STILL rocks. :)

[vince]

I say think about marriage for 30years then forget about it

[chris_venturini]

taking the plunge in 3 months. known her for 8 years.

[yapann]

Being able to overcome conflict, and having to ability to reason with your mate is a MUST in a lasting relationship.

You cannot expect the other person to change

Ohh yeah and a little tiny thing called TRUST plays a factor as well.
- that three statements I'd blood sign. Thank you for thinking that way.


There is 'only' few (EDIT*: four: 2L2T) conditions to success in relationship:
1. LUCK (to meet proper person)
2. TRUST (> Love – you can’t promise to love all life, but you'd promise to be reliable)
3. TALK (conversation with understanding - agreed or disagreed)
4. LOVE (it's both/either when:
- -> (if) you know what’s on his/her MIND and you still don’t KILL him/her :D
- -> HE/SHE > whole INTERNET. (how true!))

If that works it will probably be satisfying SEX, common vision of spending life not bored and not arguing, and all that things people used to mention first. Just my opinion.




I say think about marriage for 30years then forget about it
lol
I'm a winner

[Deceptakhan]

Yay for 420 posts by Yapann.

I don't know enough about relationships to post here, I'm still figuring them out.

[yapann]

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421.