Custody ?'s

[jackmode9316]

*If this needs to be in another forum, feel free to move it.*

Has anyone had to deal with custody issues before?

The low Down:
A friend of mine has been taking care of her kid on her own since I have known her (almost 2 years) without the help of the father. Basically the kids father sees him 2 weekends a month and slides her cash everyonce in a while for child support. She is basically going to take him to court for official custody and to get child support on paper. SO the problem is that the father is trying to claim that he has been taking care of the kid most of the time. What kinds of things can be used to prove she has been taking care of her son on her own? Being that legal representation is not inexpensive, the more evidence right away the better. Any advice or ideas are appreciated.
Thanks in Advance

[Mario]

Right now, my gf takes pictures and video (first time crawling up stairs, eating table food, etc.). She sends holiday cards to the dad. She pays for the daycare, she keeps receipts for EVERYTHING purchased. She documents all the doctor visits, etc. It's pretty obvious that she has thousands of dollars a month in expenses, but isn't receiving checks from the Dad (or any other sort of verifiable method of payment). As soon as he graduates college and has a career, her and her lawyer are taking him to court for compensation and child-support. Does that help you at all?

[stu]

I hear in California, the dad has to pay child support during the pregnancy as well.

[jackmode9316]

Right now, my gf takes pictures and video (first time crawling up stairs, eating table food, etc.). She sends holiday cards to the dad. She pays for the daycare, she keeps receipts for EVERYTHING purchased. She documents all the doctor visits, etc. It's pretty obvious that she has thousands of dollars a month in expenses, but isn't receiving checks from the Dad (or any other sort of verifiable method of payment). As soon as he graduates college and has a career, her and her lawyer are taking him to court for compensation and child-support. Does that help you at all?
Indeed Many MANY good ideas. Pictures and the like are abundant(as they should be) so that hit the nail on the head. Thanks Mario.

Dead beat Dads FTMFL!

[Conrad]

Devils Advocate here...

At the same time a father can feel ostrisized when the parents arent together. There are a lot of factors and its not easy to say he should step up in every situation. For example kids in highschool having a kid... bad situation all around. If you dont have your life together its hard to support someone else and your child which is what happens in a lot of cases. How much responsibility is it before child support becomes other parent support.

Imagine.. getting a girl pregnant and you have a falling out... She immediatly starts seeing someone else even before you have she has the kid. Kid finally comes and she doesnt put a whole lot of effort in bringing you into the childs life? How much do you push as a father to be there when the courts are already stacked against you? Do you follow her around wherever her life takes her and the child? I dont care who you are... if you dont live near your kid you arent going to have a very bonding relationship. How much damage do you do fighting to see your child. The child is going to feel the tension of that situation. Very tough situation indeed.

[jackmode9316]

Thanks Conrad, that does shed a different light.
Basically he claimed the child on his tax return. When he provides little to NO financial support. Of course she will end up on top of that one, but Im sure child support and custody issues are going to follow very soon because of this.Hence why im asking.

[Evil_SpeedRacer]

You say he pays in cash, if it is cash and not money orders then that is something there. He would not have proof of any kind of support payments in cash unless you guys gave him a receipt each time. Also, if she goes to school while at mom's house then that would show where most of the child's time is spent. The same goes for daycare as well, its just more proof that the primary household is the mother's.

[HONDA GHANDI]

Ugh, this brings back bad memories. I wholeheartedly agree with Conrad on this one as well. My mom was young when I was born and she held child support over my dad at every opportunity and constantly used it to get what she wanted from him. There is a point where becoming a responsible father is no longer enough.