single father problem

[urhomieblaze]

my brother is going thru a tough time with his daughters mom, he's been paying child support for two years and has always made sure he paid it. but has had no custody hearing. so he doesn't get to see his daughter at all. and now her mom is hitting him up for more money each month on the side for some medical bills, but won't show him a bill or give him a reicpt for payment. this is the type of female that can't be trusted on her word. so he doesn't want to hand over money freely scince he's ordered to pay support. she's now theatening to take him to court over the medical bills or will drop it if he signs over his parental rights. he really loves his daughter and doesn't want to sign it but is at his wits end dealing with this broad and doesn't know what to do. any suggestions? i want to help him out but i dunno whats up legally.

[ryanman]

Uhh, take her ass to custody court, sounds like the only thing to do. He doesn't have to wait for her to file, he can do it himself.

[urhomieblaze]

how?
what does he have to do to get a custody hearing?

[Deceptakhan]

I don't know how this really works to get a hearing, but I know that he can. Also, he should NOT pay for ANYTHING on the side, or anything that he will not get a reciept. I know he loves his daughter, but seems momma is just taking advantage of the situation. And it would look better if he has initiated to court hearings. Best of luck to your bro homie.

[twistedimage]

I don't know how this really works to get a hearing, but I know that he can. Also, he should NOT pay for ANYTHING on the side, or anything that he will not get a reciept. I know he loves his daughter, but seems momma is just taking advantage of the situation. And it would look better if he has initiated to court hearings. Best of luck to your bro homie.



i aGRee with you you can just go to court and get a hearing. an di have known many people in this situation.. let her take him to court, chances are that they will lower his payments because she is being scandles.

gl and fihgt for your rights, dont sign anything, till you see a judge

the only way you would loose your parental rights if if you are a bad person. i.e. been convicted of selling/doing drugs or other major crimes.

[Mark_H]

I don't know any official legal advice to give but most of the guys above are correct, if he is truly having major issues with her he needs to contact a lawyer immediately. My brother has been fighting for custody of one of his sons for about 2 years. All he gets is every other weekend and has to pay out the ass for child support every month.

On a side note, the legal system regarding custody of children is WHACK! In your brothers case it sounds like talking to a lawyer is the way to go though. My brother's ex girlfriend had their child and then dissappeared with their son for literally 5 or 6 years. Finally he took her to court to try to gain custody(she's a loser, and has a loser husband with a history of violence). And guess what? My brother only gets partial custody AND HAS TO PAY BACK CHILD SUPPORT FOR THE FIVE YEARS SHE DISSAPEARED!!! Complete BS. <rant over, sorry, I just wanted to air that out>

Keep us posted on what happens.
Mark

[talice]

Hmm. Sounds like the deal w/ my parents. Well, I know first hand what thats like, well from his daughters view. Its really hard on the kid. But really, he should take her to custody court. If she trys to throw all of that up in his face, he can throw up that he's never gotten to see any proof of the medical bills and he has yet to beable to see his daughter. If he keeps up on his child support and keeps documents of everything, then he will for sure win. I'd say to tell him to look into why she is trying to get all this money from him ( drugs maybe? ) and try to get proof of these things if she's not using the money for the child. or for the bills. If he can do that, than I can nearly guarntee that he will get atleast joint custody of his baby girl, if not full. I've been in his daughters situation, but was fully aware of what my mom was pulling on my dad. So I can relate. Hope I've helped you out some.

[urhomieblaze]

i appreicate all the posts, this is a really difficult subject/time for him. i'm guessin the next step is to get a lawyer and file for a custody hearing. anyone ever done this? i don't want to get some joe schmo lawyer, any suggestions?

[Mark_H]

i appreicate all the posts, this is a really difficult subject/time for him. i'm guessin the next step is to get a lawyer and file for a custody hearing. anyone ever done this? i don't want to get some joe schmo lawyer, any suggestions?

I think generally you want to get a female lawyer that specializes in representing Fathers in custody cases. Since Mom's usually get preferential treatment in these cases having a female lawyer helps. My brothers lawyer is good but she based out of Greeley I think. And ofcourse they are not cheap, but in this type of deal they are a necessary evil.
Mark

[HondaPower]

I have the same problem but lawyer fees are way too expensive for me. I have a daughter in California, I pay child support every month on time. Haven't seen her in 5 years, I don't even get pictures or phone calls. It's a tough situation.

[chris_venturini]

mental note* never have kids

[Tonnerre]

I have the same problem but lawyer fees are way too expensive for me. I have a daughter in California, I pay child support every month on time. Haven't seen her in 5 years, I don't even get pictures or phone calls. It's a tough situation.
That sucks, You should fight to be able to spend some time with her. One thing I do not understand about peopel now days is this, No matter how shitiy the father is he is still the father, same with the mother. If you demand money for taking care of the child, you want to see them and make sure they are ok. I hope this never happens to me. I think I would die inside.

[FrankDMS]

kids are so* worth all you spend no matter how frustrating.... seek legal advice! I TOO AM IN YOUR SITUATION and it is hell but well worth it. If you can get legal help do so. You DO NOT have to pay anything other than court orderd if there are medical issues and visitation issues i can not say it enough get legal advice.....or talk to the judge in person- the judge will find it anoying but will help guide you. (i know that personaly) good luck.

[slowfocusguy]

The first mistake this man had done is getting married. Women get married to protect themselves (aka take advantage) in the future if a couple ever decides to get divorce. Since, for some reason, the court system view women as helpless angels of purity. Men will always, always, get the short end of the deal.

The second mistake was not writing and signing a marriage contract. This is about only way a man can protect himself from bitches (remember the bitch to women ratio is 1,000,000:1) from taking advantage from the highly abused system for custody of children.

The only thing one can do at this point is to have allot of money and a really good lawyer. Remember! The court would rather put the child into foster care, then give custody to the father!

[civicjuju]

i was in the same position till september

my son mom decided that i didnt need to see my son...
i took a lawyer and we just got done signing papers

1. ask for custudy to the court if you are the one asking they will help you!
not many dad are willing to take care of they childs so if you show you want to they will help you

2. the only thing you need to pay is the child support order. nothing else
the court will tell her that she need to make it happen with the money she gets from child support.

all the money you gonna spend is worth it.

if you have any question...let me know i'll give you my email...

i just went thru this so i can help you

just let me know

[Conrad]

Speaking on current experience.... lawyers cost money and a typical child custody fight is about 5 - 15K.

Colorado is a frequent visitation state! meaning that their are many ways for you to see your kid.

The thing is that its a very long road to get to where you are a care giver to your child.

Start slow and dont expect much in the beginning because courts like status quo at first. Unless you are a care giver now on a regular basis its not in the childs best interest to make you one right off the bat.

As you care for your child more and show a pattern of caring, which most fathers sadly just dont want to pay child support or feel that since they do they should be able to see their children, the court will give you more and more visitation. By law she doesnt have to show you shit for receipts but by law you dont have to pay more then what is ordered by the courts. Either way if the court doesnt give you as much custody as you think you should get you still need to pay child support! Its in your childs interest. She may be a piece of shit but be the bigger person and take care of your child anyway you can.

Sorry. i guess i got carried away. Glad I am able to work this out with my ex!

[SlamMan]

I feel bad for all these children who've had their homes ripped apart.

[civicjuju]

Speaking on current experience.... lawyers cost money and a typical child custody fight is about 5 - 15K.

Colorado is a frequent visitation state! meaning that their are many ways for you to see your kid.

The thing is that its a very long road to get to where you are a care giver to your child.

Start slow and dont expect much in the beginning because courts like status quo at first. Unless you are a care giver now on a regular basis its not in the childs best interest to make you one right off the bat.

As you care for your child more and show a pattern of caring, which most fathers sadly just dont want to pay child support or feel that since they do they should be able to see their children, the court will give you more and more visitation. By law she doesnt have to show you shit for receipts but by law you dont have to pay more then what is ordered by the courts. Either way if the court doesnt give you as much custody as you think you should get you still need to pay child support! Its in your childs interest. She may be a piece of shit but be the bigger person and take care of your child anyway you can.

Sorry. i guess i got carried away. Glad I am able to work this out with my ex!



+1

[urhomieblaze]

sorry guys i kinda lost track of this thread. my g/f of 3yrs was in a very bad car accident the day after i made this thread and was hospitlized all last week. she's doing as well as can be,with a broken hip/pelvis.
on a side note they said the main thing that saved her from worse damage was her seat belt, so please everyone just buckle it. and thank you all for the info/posts.

[Tonnerre]

Wow, bad shit seems to follow you. If things have a way of working out, you ex girlfriend will grow up and understand dispite how much she hates you. You are the father of her child and that for the kids sake you should try to get along. Some people take long then others and some never learn.

[Deceptakhan]

Wow, bad shit seems to follow you. If things have a way of working out, you ex girlfriend will grow up and understand dispite how much she hates you. You are the father of her child and that for the kids sake you should try to get along. Some people take long then others and some never learn.

You have no idea of whats going on here Tonnerre. Its not just as simple as "hey momma, lets just get along. We'll happily share dual custody of the child, and since we are doing the same amount, theres no need for child support payments anymore. And, btw, you will pay me back for the lawyer i got too, right? I know that there is no chance you would ever fuck me."

Fucking kids.

[Deceptakhan]

sorry guys i kinda lost track of this thread. my g/f of 3yrs was in a very bad car accident the day after i made this thread and was hospitlized all last week. she's doing as well as can be,with a broken hip/pelvis.
on a side note they said the main thing that saved her from worse damage was her seat belt, so please everyone just buckle it. and thank you all for the info/posts.

Hopefully everything works out. Very sory to hear that.

[TXKompressor]

If you brother is willing I have a bad ass lawyer that does not cost a shitload... Pm me. I got Custody of my kids with her in less then three months and I did not even have to go to court.