What To Do...

[Mario]

So as most of you know, I got into an accident about a month ago. Other person's fault, I deal with her insurance. About two weeks ago, my mom got the $4000 insurance check and deposited it. So I start looking at some cars. Found one I liked. Told mom about it, and she said 'well, you know that you don't have $4000 to spend on a car'. This was some great news to me, considering I recieved a $4000 check. So I asked why, and she said "well due to your irresponsibilities I want your insurance and cell phone bill prepaid. $700 and $200 respectively." So that leaves me with $3100 to buy a car. I talk with the seller who I'm interested in buying the car, and ask if I'd be able to make payments on the remaining amount. No problem, ok cool. Mom gets her insurance/cell money, I don't owe her a dime, she has my $3100, no way she can say no.

Well I was wrong. I asked her if she could pull the $3100 out of the bank as the seller agreed that I could make payments, and she flat out said no. She wants me to buy a beater and save up money to get a nicer car, as opposed to just skipping that whole step right now. No joke, this was the best answer she could come up with: "Because I said so and that's the final answer".

Now if this would be her money, or if I would be asking her to loan me money, I'd understand. But this is MY money. I paid for my first car, I paid for all the parts, it's my money that my mom is holding. This pretty much leads me to one conclusion that would only make sense: she spent my money. There's no excuse why she should prevent me from spending my own money. I even agreed to the prepaid insurance and cell phone, and she STILL won't budge. No excuse whatsoever.

So what can I, or should I do? She's being very irresponsible with this whole situation. I've made very logical view points and explanations, and the best she comes back with is 'because I said so'.

[RiceNmotioN]

sorry to say...but that suck some time. i couldent even get my car until i turn 19 and i dident even get my drivers id until 18...

[Ashton]

Ask her for it to be deposited into a joint account between the two of you.. or your own bank account. Who was the insurance check written out to? If it was your mother then it is well. HER money.

If she did spend it.. You really can't do anything about it because she is family... Also it looks as if you're still a minor. So really she owns everything you own. If she spent it and is not being willing to be reasonable about it you may just have to say "well if you did spend it thats okay... but at least tell me" and then pull a major guilt trip. This could also back fire on yo because well.. if she needed the money to pay for bills or something of the sort you really can't be a dick and be like I want my money... So there is really no good way to go about this. I would ask her straight up if i could have it or if she spent it on something else..

[Mario]

Legally, it is her money. Check is was written to her, etc. However, SHE knows, in that cold heart that she has, that it was my hard earned money.

[wild.irish]

i don't know you personally, Mario, but you don't produce an impression of irresponsible guy. so i'm not sure what she calls "your irresponsibilities". besides, i could understand she wouldn't give you money for a nice car if you had several wrecks on a road. but you only had one parking lot incident which was not your fault...

ask her how much she can give you right now, and act from there, try to get the rest from her as payments, that way you could get those payments to the guy you wanted to buy car from. dunno, just an idea.

[Mario]

i don't know you personally, Mario, but you don't produce an impression of irresponsible guy. so i'm not sure what she calls "your irresponsibilities". besides, i could understand she wouldn't give you money for a nice car if you had several wrecks on a road. but you only had one parking lot incident which was not your fault...

ask her how much she can give you right now, and act from there, try to get the rest from her as payments, that way you could get those payments to the guy you wanted to buy car from. dunno, just an idea.

Most the people I've met on here I'm pretty sure could vouch for me as a pretty responsible person. Far from let's say... Shoopra boy. :cool:

I did ask my mom how much she could give me, and she said $3100 which is kinda what is irratating me.

[STIBungy]

Yeah, if she already committed to giving you that much back, you should hold her to her word. Make her feel guilty. Tell her how if she cant hold true to her own word, how in the heck are you going to grow up to be an honest person? :D

[wild.irish]

and responsible for that matter ;)

[Ashton]

Yeah, if she already committed to giving you that much back, you should hold her to her word. Make her feel guilty. Tell her how if she cant hold true to her own word, how in the heck are you going to grow up to be an honest person? :D
hahaha you sick bastard! guilting family =)

[LeonZ]

Mario, I'll talk to her if you want. I'll be like 'Mario is a growing to be a responsible young man and you fail to realize his accomplishments. Unlike other teenagers on HAI, he is showing signs of maturity and he also made girls cream their panties when his car was boosted'

:D

[Mario]

:rofl:

I talked to her. She yelled during the whole fucking hour. She said that it was my money, and she did not spent it. So I asked her if she would write me a check so I can have the money, and she yelled some other things. A couple times she said that the money was hers. A couple times she didn't.

I told her that I needed the car to graduate. (Basically, I have two off periods at school for working. If I don't get a car, I fail those periods and my GPA will go from a 3.1 to a 2.2). I told her I looked for other jobs, but no one is hiring.

I was extremely calm, while she yelled at me. I managed to get two questions out of the whole conversation. All the others got cut off. She then stated 'fine, you want a car?! If you find a car and the bill of sale says $3,000 then you'll get it.' So I asked her (this is one of the two questions I managed to get out) 'well, if I put the $500 I have right now with that, can the car be a $3,500 one?' She paused for a second, and started yelling at me again saying that I was manipulating her.

She then said that she'll cut the $3,000 check, but she'll revoke my license so that way she doesn't have to worry about my insurance being taken away. I don't get this, because she already took $700 out for my insurance.

I'm so confused. :cry:

[David]

'Mario is a growing to be a responsible young man and you fail to realize his accomplishments. Unlike other teenagers on HAI-_-

[Ashton]

:rofl:

I talked to her. She yelled during the whole fucking hour. She said that it was my money, and she did not spent it. So I asked her if she would write me a check so I can have the money, and she yelled some other things. A couple times she said that the money was hers. A couple times she didn't.

I told her that I needed the car to graduate. (Basically, I have two off periods at school for working. If I don't get a car, I fail those periods and my GPA will go from a 3.1 to a 2.2). I told her I looked for other jobs, but no one is hiring.

I was extremely calm, while she yelled at me. I managed to get two questions out of the whole conversation. All the others got cut off. She then stated 'fine, you want a car?! If you find a car and the bill of sale says $3,000 then you'll get it.' So I asked her (this is one of the two questions I managed to get out) 'well, if I put the $500 I have right now with that, can the car be a $3,500 one?' She paused for a second, and started yelling at me again saying that I was manipulating her.

She then said that she'll cut the $3,000 check, but she'll revoke my license so that way she doesn't have to worry about my insurance being taken away. I don't get this, because she already took $700 out for my insurance.

I'm so confused. :cry:
Tell her that you already prepaid your insurance for the 700 dollars thus you have your insurance.. ask her for a check and then spend it the way YOU see fit but spend it wisely. also if you have the 3000 dollar check and then you have 500 dollars then you can spend 3500. also remember you have to pay for plates and what not so dont over extend yourself.. if i only had 500 bucks in my bank account i would be saving that and spending the 3000 dollars on the car.. Maintnance, Parts, All that stuff costs money, not to mention gas. and it doesnt sound like she will be paying any of your future expenses... so budget wisely? and because you dont even have a job i would budget extremely wisely.

[Mario]

Told her that's what the $700 prepayment was for, she didn't listen. Plates aren't due until 60 days after car purchase. That's MORE than enough time for $200 plates. I get paid through tips, so gas isn't an issue. Once I get a car, I make money. Pretty quickly too, delivery is a great job when you have a car. It's not such a great job when parents hold back your money for purchasing something you need for your job.

[Ashton]

Perhaps it would help if you wrote it out on paper for her to read instead of all this screaming and yelling going on.. write it out on paper what you want to do with the money and your plan... the 4000 dollar insurance check, bla bla 700 insurance prepaid, phone bill, bla bla. deduct = 3100 dollars. simple math and be like this. If she over reacts again I would assume she is in money probelms and i would just drop it and get whatever she allows you to buy.

also she seems confrontational.. I might leave it on a table where she would see it and read it? or just be like mom I wrote out what i would like to do. not what i WANT to do... please look it over and get back to me and walk away.?

[STIBungy]

Your mom sounds like a bitch. Tell her to get that stick out of her ass or put one in there if there isnt one.

[stu]

I don't think this is about money trouble.

[myshtern]

Tell her to get that stick out of her ass or put one in there if there isnt one.
My experience with parents tells me this wont help him for some reason :D

[2000SiVTEC]

I agree with stu, I dont think this is even about the money. Was the accident your fault?

[BluByU]

Mario be irresponsible? He's the only person under 21 that "thanked me for my time" when I took him to motorcycle shops. Pretty straight shooter in my book who has a stupid setback that's making him stress. Use her car to do deliveries in the mean time.

[wild.irish]

it might be over the money, and it might be not. in any case, from my own experience, think twice before you make it dead-formal with writing out everything on paper. i've known cases when this make parents "blow a fuse" (hope i use this expression right). they just lose control when they see somebody, who's supposed to be a minor, to be much more in control and balanced in opinions than their own grown-up self.

[stu]

Yeah, don't rag on his mom for being a parent.

[-=[Juztin]=-]

Sounds like she's trying to keep hold of your money for some reason. The fact that she tries to out-argue you when you talk to her about it is reason enough. If I were you I'd try to get that money out of her hands and into your in some safe place to store it if you really want to have $3100. Otherwise that amount will start diminishing.

[computingfuture]

get a lawyer and divorce your mum.

or

tell her you are going to buy something rediculous, so that when u say what you really want she thinks it a much better idea.