I broke a babies neck

[David]

so one of my teachers had me take care of this kid, I took it into physics, it started to cry, I go to put the bottle into its mouth and wouldn't ya know it depth perception deceived me and I jabbed him with it and the neck flew back and the baby proceeded to scream in pain.

im a bad baby sitter :ring:

[stu]

Apply some heat to the sore muscles and tendons in the neck and other swollen areas.



















Microwave heat.

[David]

well, I took your advice stu and I tried to "burn" the area...the skin just melted...any better ideas?

[HONDA GHANDI]

The propane torch is actually better, you can pinpoint the swollen areas with better acuracy.

[David]

alright, now the whole head has "melted" off, what now? JB weld?

[stu]

Yeah but the microwave contains any accidental tissue explosions, and it more efficient, as it does not heat up any of the surrounding air.

[wild.irish]

and now - band-aid!

[Storm Girl]

I'm never letting you babysit for me. Any of you! LOL

[David]

well now that the head is off the baby fits in the microwave, there are several large lumps on its body now

lumps = cancer?

[stu]

Nope, those are taste lumps.

[David]

wait...am I trying to cook the baby or fix it?

cause if im cooking it I would of AT LEAST marinate it first

[HONDA GHANDI]

Mmm, tastes like chicken. If the head is too badly damaged from heat and bite marks just go to the lost and found at the library or school and find a stuffed animal. Bite the head off and tape it in place of the baby head. Plus get some new tennis shoes while youre there.

[Weston-work]

What the hell are you talking about!? No one in their right mind would give you a kid to take care of.

[David]

its easy to say that now that I nearly killed the kid, but before you would think I was a great baby sitter

[Weston-work]

Still, what are you doing with a kid? Are we going to hear about this on the news tonight?

Also, it's "baby's", not "babies"... what are they teaching you in school these days?

[David]

dont worry weston, its not a real baby ;)

[wild.irish]

not anymore, that is ;)

[David]

:rofl:

[Weston]

That's what I figured... some stupid project in a BS class that teaches you to take care of a kid? I am so glad they didn't do that shit when I was in High School.

[stu]

They did that when I was in high school, I just never took that class.

[Weston]

They did that when I was in high school, I just never took that class.

It was elective? Why the hell would anyone take if it they had the choice not to!?

[stu]

All kinds of girls would take that instead of like math or history or science or gym or just about any other class.

[David]

nope required

[Weston]

All kinds of girls would take that instead of like math or history or science or gym or just about any other class.

Yeah, why start learning the skills needed to have a decent career when you can just be a dumb slut instead. :rolleyes:

nope required

Hahahahahhaahhahahahha. OWNED! But seriously... what a waste of my taxpayer dollars yet again. They need to be teaching kids to have some damn values and use some common sense, not how to make a good teenage parent. :rolleyes:

[Skaterkid]

My ex g/f had to take care of one of those for a weekend. With her, the things head only snapped back two or three times, but her mom took care of it for a good 10 or 12 hours to give me and her a break from it. When she got the printout there were 28 head thrusts. Her mom never supported the head. Of course, that explains many things about my ex-g/f.

[David]

it cries like non other when you break its neck

so far it has cried 25 times in 11 hours...good thing im learning a valuble lesson with all this:rolleyes:

edit - make that 26

[Weston]

What happens when you kick it? You should return it all JB Welded and shit. :rofl:

[David]

well, I have to pay for it if I break it...$400 so I dont think I will try my luck ;)

[MirageZ31]

nope required
Thank God it wasn't required for me when I was in High School

[gjcivic]

damn, they could save alot of money, just give me your phone number and I'll cal you and scream every 2 hours... oh, and I need your adress to ship you a couple of "samples"...

[stu]

damn, they could save alot of money, just give me your phone number and I'll cal you and scream every 2 hours... oh, and I need your adress to ship you a couple of "samples"...
har har ho ho haw haw I can hardly even sit up right now.









?




















lol

[David]

stu, were you intoxicated?

[TXKompressor]

Weston I hope you never have kids, It teaches a valuable lesson and teaches you how to be a good parent which everyone should learn anyhow, dealing with a life is not just a trial and error thing, with classes like this they are trying to get less babies in the dumpsters and less mother and fathers killing their babies because they can not deal with the crying or the kid in general.

David, its not easy is it? welcome to E-Fatherhood, imagine the real thing.

[wild.irish]

yeah, i agree with Rob, it's better if you have understanding of what the real thing is like before you have your own kids. i have been witnessing alot of child care lately, my friend moved close here with his two kids. the real thing seem really hard

[David]

its hard as hell, if this was a real kid he would of been dead twice now :D

its funny as hell with the kid in my car though, he flys forward when I hit boost :D

[stu]

Are you hitting boost in reverse again David?

[myshtern]

Are you hitting boost in reverse again David?
:rofl:
I was thinking the same thing

[TXKompressor]

rookies, car seats for new borns are rear facing, hence going forward for the kid is going backwards in the car....

[stu]

rookies, car seats for new borns are rear facing, hence going forward for the kid is going backwards in the car....

I know, but I didn't think that Dave would actually go that far to do that.

[David]

if I mount him the right way it will throw the balance of my car off

[Maverick]

Babies were made to be broken.

[TXKompressor]

I know, but I didn't think that Dave would actually go that far to do that.


It gives me a very funny visual, ROFL

David with a fake baby all buckled up in his car....

[myshtern]

It gives me a very funny visual, ROFL

David with a fake baby all buckled up in his car....
lol, its like a blow up doll, only for pedaphiles