ryanman
01-21-2004, 04:46 PM
How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and
Southerners?
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking
man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams
obscenities, raises the knife,
and charges.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and
your family.
What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
look poor or oppressed? Have I
ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run
away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
hand?
What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an
appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want
to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and
weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage
such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a
few days and try to come to a consensus.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...(sounds of reloading).
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving. What do you kids
think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
Southerners?
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking
man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams
obscenities, raises the knife,
and charges.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and
your family.
What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
look poor or oppressed? Have I
ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run
away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
hand?
What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an
appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want
to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and
weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage
such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a
few days and try to come to a consensus.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...(sounds of reloading).
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving. What do you kids
think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"