Describe your job.

[stu]

Describe your job without actually saying what you do. For example:

I drive to people's houses and give them stuff and act nice to them, then the give me money, then I curse at them under my breath when I don't think it's enough. Example: "Stupid fucking ten-year-old, I know your mom can afford more than that!"

[djet820]

I like to stand around and surf the net all day. But sometiems I might see people who will need something that my job offers them. After much negotiating and talking, they either take my product or they don't. Sometimes i don't like the people though because they ask horrible questions that are quite redundant. Some people like to have the service longer so we extend it for them. After the 8 hours of the day, then I can clock out so that I may go home.

[chris_venturini]

i stock groceries for hippies, and then when were out of something they ask me if theres more in the back and i tell them, "no, if its not on the shelf were out." Then they say, " well could you check anyway." because they think im lying to them. So i go walk in the back and scratch my nuts for ten minutes, come back out and tell them we dont have any, again. thats what i do, all day.

[stu]

You said groceries, you suck at this. But I think it's funny when people do that. You should be like "Oooohhhh yeah, the back." Then when their face brightens up a little bit, say, "No, if it's not on the shelf, we don't have it." Then when they ask you to go back there, do so, then come out and say, "Great news! Most of the mice are dead, but I couldn't find any of what you were looking for. Here's some KY Jelly though." But only do that if you are trying to get fired.

[chris_venturini]

, you suck at this. .oh man, damn brownies. I thought i read your thread but apparantly only certain words.

[Weston]

I read corporate propoganda, go to completely pointless metings, sit through long mind numbing conference calls that accomplish nothing, deal with incompitent arrogant assholes, attempt to communicate technical details to clueless people, listen to people bitch and moan about each other and other things that will never change, watch good honest people get screwed over, do some light manual labor, a lot of typing some times, fix crap that breaks all the time, get tons of other people's problems dumped on me, take home a paycheck that's half of what it should be, and frequently come really close to telling everyone what's really on my mind (ie "go fuck yourself", "I hate you, you two faced idiot", "handle your own fucking problems for once", etc).

[Kwando]

I watch TV all day...

[Ashton]

I stand in 1 place all day, deal with bitchy ass customers. explain they cant have there money back because they already watched the movie and occasionally flirt w/ the new girls.

my other job is taking pictures..... so i actually have to move and setup and all kinds of hard stuff.

[john]

No idea.

[LeonZ]

i come inm log into the computer, open a bunch of random programs i rarely use and start browsing HAI. whenever a manager walks by, i quickly do ALT+TAB to go back into outlook where I have customers' questions about pointless crap mostly. i read one question, cussin in the process and saying "why the fuck would you waste your time typing that crap". but then i realize that they probably dont know that the person answering their questions doesnt really give a flying fuck. so after reading the question, i go back to browsing HAI. then i go get some coffee and start chatting with co-workers. then i go on break. when i come back from break, i browse more HAI and remember that i still have to answer the question asked by the customer. since 99% of the time the question sounds stupid, like "Simple question,When I buy a movie that says "all day",does this
mean that I have bought the right to watch that one movie all day or just
one time?
" and being the smartass that i am, i usually type something like "currently, this information is unavailable. please call our customer service for more information". then its more HAI/coffee...

[celica man]

i order stuff for other people so that they could put it on other peoples cars.

[Skaterkid]

I spend my day at work getting strange orders, asking people 7 questions before they leave, waiting for them to decide what they want, clean tons of shit, curse under my breath when they come in, don't tip or order seven different things at once. I work with hot girls, but they're all too dumb to be much more good than for a laugh when I confuse them or tell them they're in trouble.

[Mario]

I drive around for about 4-5 hours at night... I give them stuff, they give me paper, and we are even.

[David]

I drive to a giant place where nobody knows how to drive and sit there waiting to pick a certain person up while looking at all the Japanese people and how freaked out they are that the are here.

[stu]

Sometimes I take long pieces of latex, blow into them, sqeeze, rub, and twist them into shapes, then give them to children.

[DrJones]

Well when I have free time and decide that I want to work, I sit down at a computer, open up whatever project I am working on, and start writing the drivers or firmware for a data aquisition device. Sometimes it's just doing random data processing type stuff... other times it's fun like porting my code for the USB controller chip from C in windows through the serial port, to working with the microcontroller on the prototype board.

Fun stuff.

[Xtreme Racer]

I sit at a desk all day selling something EVERYONE needs.

[stu]

Cigarettes?

[Maverick]

I walk around in a building where I am surrounded by food. I pretend to be looking at stuff but instead I am keeping my eagle eye on the guy picking up 7 boxes of sudafed. I pick up and put back things and wait for the man to leave. As soon as he does I tackle him and he gets a visit from the blue-coat-billy-goat and a piece of paper telling him to go downtown where the people of Colorado Springs will be charging him with various offenses. Then I write down a story about what happened. A few minutes later I will be watching the 14 year old girl looking at the pregnancy tests. As soon as she leaves I tackle her and it goes through the same proccess.

[exciv2000]

I sit at my desk all day attempting to hide my contempt for all the stupid people that breed.

[stu]

Isaha, do you make sure to knee the 14-year-old in the stomach really hard just in case in mid tackle? Also, do you get her number?

[2002jettavr6]

I drive to work and sit on my ass waiting for a server to break get board and go home

[newt2]

I make 27 dollars an hour to post on this and other sites.

[albsjdm03]

I sit down and log on to HAI until a customer comes in then I say what the fuck do you want under my breath then put on the fake face and act like I give a shit about what they want then they give me art work that they pulled off the internet or a low res jpeg that they want to be perfect upon completion for a low amount of money. For those people we have a percentage increaser so everyone is set at 100% then when they become a pain we give them a PIA charge (Pain In the Ass) I will up it 115% to 130% depending on how bad they are.

[V8SpankR]

I make 27 dollars an hour to post on this and other sites.

See,college pays off. :king:

[2002jettavr6]

I never went to College man

[2000SiVTEC]

I drive around in my truck, tell people what needs to be done. I usually get in there and help do the work. Then I go to breakfast about 930 everyday, then I come back check on things. Go to another job site and check on things there then I get lunch and work some more.

[MrsGhandi]

I sell stuff that everyone's required to have, but they hate paying for it...only until something happens, then they want to be reimbursed....but always think they're getting screwed.

[Mr. NoSkills]

i show up at various times (sometimes I don't even know when i need to show up), usually eat some fast food that i have with me for about half an hour. then i log on to the computer, run some company shit, then surf the internet.
sometimes i have to fix some electronic shit which is good, cause if i don't want to none of you guys get your christmas packages from out of state.
you can all pay me later.

[97silvercivic]

I sell stuff that everyone's required to have, but they hate paying for it...only until something happens, then they want to be reimbursed....but always think they're getting screwed.

Are you and agent?



ok I take care of some ones 2 brats all day that dont go to school... I clean the house occasionally and act as a Mom...

[gjcivic]

I walk into peoples rooms to wake them up at 0500.I usually give a half-hearted knock, then flip on the light before they are fully awake. Then the real fun starts. I first apply a pair of rubber gloves, making sure to stretch them tight and then let go so there is that great latex "popping" sound, then I put a needle into what ever bulge I can find, and remove a portion of their life fluids. Screamers are the best... esspecially the ones that scream before or well after the needle is already in place. After a polite "thank you", I hit the light switch and jump out the door, so as to give the illusion that I just disappeared... then I go down the hall to the next room. The worst part of my job is that I have to stay there untill 1330, and people are usually well awake buy then, so I don't get to play the Mysterious roll, but I still get to hurt them :king:

[Mario]

wtf do you do...??!

[97silvercivic]

wtf do you do...??!

Sounds like a nurse or a lab specialist

[Weston-work]

0500 and 1330 sounds like he's military. Yet another reason for me not to join... people sticking needles in me when I'm trying to sleep.

[Maverick]

(Isaiah)

i actually do get her number so I can call her mom and let her know that her slut daughter might be knocked up and that she has to come pick her up because she is a juvenile.Isaha, do you make sure to knee the 14-year-old in the stomach really hard just in case in mid tackle? Also, do you get her number?

[FoxyAzianStar44]

I stand at a register all damn day long.. either telling customers that they cant return items if they are the ones that broke them, telling them that the bathrooms are next to Subway, or stuffing my face with food!

[RiceBurner00]

Describe your job without actually saying what you do. For example:

I drive to people's houses and give them stuff and act nice to them, then the give me money, then I curse at them under my breath when I don't think it's enough. Example: "Stupid fucking ten-year-old, I know your mom can afford more than that!"


dude I hate that shit, parents make their kids pay so its ok to cheap the guy out of a tip. I just remember the houses and take my good ol time, sometimes if im hungry I will grab a chicken finger or something, if the people are cheap fucks, I get the last laugh on those bitches

[tsitim]

people give me numbers via email or fax then I give the numbers back, then I have a bunch of guys dig holes for another number

[HondasTrail]

I go to work when ever they need me. When I get there I get to do lots of paperwork and then sit on my dead lazy ass for the next 7 hours and listen to people bitch and moan on how life was so shitty for them. Or sometimes I go about passing small oval, circular, diamond (or any shape you can think of) objects that either make people happy, sad, angry, or sleepy. On occasions I get to shove small objects in peoples asses and then get to clean up the mess they leave about half an hour later. On very rare occasions I get to shove my hand up someones ass and take it out repeatedly until I feel there is no more blockage (when this happens I get extra paper work). I to also get to stick people with needles and listen to them scream while the lower classes of the work society hold down their arms and legs so I dont catch a fist to the face.

[djet820]

I go to work when ever they need me. When I get there I get to do lots of paperwork and then sit on my dead lazy ass for the next 7 hours and listen to people bitch and moan on how life was so shitty for them. Or sometimes I go about passing small oval, circular, diamond (or any shape you can think of) objects that either make people happy, sad, angry, or sleepy. On occasions I get to shove small objects in peoples asses and then get to clean up the mess they leave about half an hour later. On very rare occasions I get to shove my hand up someones ass and take it out repeatedly until I feel there is no more blockage (when this happens I get extra paper work). I to also get to stick people with needles and listen to them scream while the lower classes of the work society hold down their arms and legs so I dont catch a fist to the face.

So I guess that's what lickin the toad means....

[HondasTrail]

um I guess especially with all the happy go lucky drugs I have access to :) actually I'm a nurse at a old folks home

[djet820]

ooooh. Man I was close. licking toads, working at a nursing home...what's the diff lol.

[HondasTrail]

Hehe :M:

[stu]

I can never spell your name Isaiah. From now on, any time you correct me, I'll just accuse you of not being creative enough to find new spellings. ;)

[b18cya-T]

i go to peoples houses, tell them how fucking disgusting their sorry excuse for a home is. then they tell me why they want to keep living in filth. then they pay me a lot of money, i give them a cheezy bbq grill.

[doubletwins]

I get up when I want. I mess around all day. Get a call around 5:30. Drive to someone's house. Talk to them for about an hour or two. Maybe drive to another home, or just go home. I end up spending 20 hours a week actually working (if you call it that) and earn six figures a year. Hehe :fu:

BTW: I do the same job as the guy above me.^^

[SpeedStar91]

I walk into peoples rooms to wake them up at 0500.I usually give a half-hearted knock, then flip on the light before they are fully awake. Then the real fun starts. I first apply a pair of rubber gloves, making sure to stretch them tight and then let go so there is that great latex "popping" sound, then I put a needle into what ever bulge I can find, and remove a portion of their life fluids. Screamers are the best... esspecially the ones that scream before or well after the needle is already in place. After a polite "thank you", I hit the light switch and jump out the door, so as to give the illusion that I just disappeared... then I go down the hall to the next room. The worst part of my job is that I have to stay there untill 1330, and people are usually well awake buy then, so I don't get to play the Mysterious roll, but I still get to hurt them :king:

:rofl: haha disappearing illusion....that's great...motherfuker try to poke that needle in me and i'll cut you fool!

well I used to stay behind a counter selling stuff people use everyday because you need it. All of the time I'm selling people stuff that will kill them eventualy and cuase them a lot of problems as they get older if they abuse it. Sometimes I get to ready the stuff and while i'm doing that I usually think about how much I hate it and want to sabatoge the whole dam place by doing something I think is funny, but would lose sales if people found out on top of me getting fired. Oh yea, I did do the things I though was funny sometimes though..

[SpeedStar91]

I get up when I want. I mess around all day. Get a call around 5:30. Drive to someone's house. Talk to them for about an hour or two. Maybe drive to another home, or just go home. I end up spending 20 hours a week actually working (if you call it that) and earn six figures a year. Hehe :fu:

BTW: I do the same job as the guy above me.^^

deng must be nice. i give up, what do you do?

[Weston]

I never knew there was such money in vacuum cleaners. :D

[chris_venturini]

do you guys sell knives?

no no wait, drug dealers, right? its drug dealer isnt it.

[doubletwins]

Nope, not a drug dealer. Weston got it right. :Beer:

[MrsGhandi]

Are you and agent?



ok I take care of some ones 2 brats all day that dont go to school... I clean the house occasionally and act as a Mom...
Yep, you guessed it...w/ American Family

[sbiggi]

in my daily life that I consider job-like...

I get in around 12:30, pick a spot in the back of the room.... open up my laptop... thats when the surfing begins, hai, crn, dsmtalk, etc....
A talking head walks in and begins to spout off usless crap and jargin, which i then proceed to completely ignore....
after serveral hours of this and several different old people.... I go home and waist more time on pointless "time filler"

my actual job...
I get in my car and drive like an ass to some drugged up drunk asses house....
where I then exchange food for money...
after which I call them a cheap asshole under my breath as I walk away.....
then I proceed to floor it down their street to show my displeasure in the transaction....
sometimes the Man sees me and decides to tailgate me, until he notice my sign, at which point he leaves me alone and speeds past me....
and this repeats 25 or so times a night

[gjcivic]

Sounds like a nurse or a lab specialist

pretty much nailed it... Phlebotomy Tech, aka Vampire, I draw blood samples.... just for the record, I did dramatize that "just a little" :)... It is a cool job though, It beats the hell out of my old job..... Cutting wholes in freshly painted, brand new walls. wiring up equipment, then trying to explain how to opperate a $20,000 dollar entertainment system to people that have problems opperating a toaster. Big jump from home and car electronics to poking people with needles, but its way worth it :)

[TXKompressor]

weeee, I get up at 8-9am then I make breakfast for my kids then I get on my computer doing a bunch of meaningless things. I then make lunch for my kids whom are driving me crazy by then. I make them take a nap. I then do some more bs on my computer sending about 50 emails out a day, then it is time for dinner, I make that, then my sister somes home whom lives with me and I usually leave to go do more meaningless things outside. Then I go to bed at like 1-2am. wow. I am really sucking

[Mr. NoSkills]

wow. I am really sucking

nah, just keeping it real!
at least you feed your kids. :)

[TXKompressor]

nah, just keeping it real!
at least you feed your kids. :)

LOL, Barely.........

Economy sucks right now can't find a job.

[BluByU]

I go in to work, clock in. Then once everyone gets started, I look at something. If something dosen't look good, I yell at people, or make it look good myself, depending on my mood. If someone gets extra bitchy with me I make them do all their mess ups. If something looks bad once it's out of my hands, I get bitched at whether it's my fault or not.

[djet820]

I go in to work, clock in. Then once everyone gets started, I look at something. If something dosen't look good, I yell at people, or make it look good myself, depending on my mood. If someone gets extra bitchy with me I make them do all their mess ups. If something looks bad once it's out of my hands, I get bitched at whether it's my fault or not.

THE 10% MAN!

[stu]

What happened to your job Rob?

[TXKompressor]

I am no longer working there from cut backs. They basically found someone that would do my job for cheaper.

[stu]

A guy defecting from Walmart? Damn it! I knew I never should have prank called that girl.

Come to think of it, it's probably a blind guy. They hand him fives, and say they're twenties. lol

[TXKompressor]

lol, yeah it sucks but what can you do, BTW pranking that gurl was the best thing that ever happened to me there.

[stu]

haha, glad to hear it. ;)

[wild.irish]

while (I am on my job)
{
use keyboard;
move mouse;
look into the monitor;
}
if (something doesn't work)
{
try to think...
}

[pat]

i stock groceries for hippies, and then when were out of something they ask me if theres more in the back and i tell them, "no, if its not on the shelf were out." Then they say, " well could you check anyway." because they think im lying to them. So i go walk in the back and scratch my nuts for ten minutes, come back out and tell them we dont have any, again. thats what i do, all day.

That shit happens to me all the time too. But when it does its for white trash rather than hippies.

[pat]

I have people come up too me and ask dumb question or wonder if I will let them go home early, but the next week bitch about there hours. Then some moron drunk will yell at me because customer service closed three hours earlier and I have to call the cops to throw him out. My boss's car gets stolen and I count a shit load of money and hope no one robs me and go home.

[pat]

No idea.

I feel like this 80% of the time.